he: What do you mean you’re against porn. Sounds strange. Isn’t everyone against porn?
me: Ha ha. Try men.
he: Most people don’t like it.
me: People?’ But, what about men… males.
he: Actually, I’ve never given it much thought.
me: It doesn’t require much. But no matter men’s opinion of porn, it’s obvious that most use it.
he: I suppose this is news to me. No one talks about it, so I don’t know.
me: Maybe the using of porn is the way men talk about it.
he: Men men. What’s with that. I’m sure there’s not much can be done about it. It can’t be censored. So, what’s the point in being against it. I don’t get it.
me: If you were a female porn actor, or the wife of a porn user, you might get it.
he: Wife of… But it’s about acting. Low acting, bad acting, but it’s still acting. It’s playing a role.
me: Have you seen much online or video porn?
he: What I’ve seen I call acting. If I thought it was real, I doubt I could look at it.
me: How closely do you look?
he: Look, I’m not really into it. But… I wouldn’t stop it either or be part of some campaign against it either. Are you an ex-porn addict or something. I don’t get the interest.
me: NO, I’m not. What about violent porn? What about the showing of forced or criminal acts.
he: Aren’t you over-reacting? These would have to be illegal and charges brought accordingly.
me: Are they? Do you know such an instance?
he: No, but I’m sure they must be acted on when reported.
me: No, not at all. Not when it takes place in a porn studio. Not when it’s porn.
he: What do you mean?
me: If it’s porn, it’s free speech. So, it’s protected.
he: That’s my point. If it’s free speech, then it must be acting… like I said, it’s acting. It’s the acting out of a fantasy… that’s all. Even the worse…
me: Do I have to spell it out. The women in porn are real, and what is done to them is exactly what you see. That’s what’s done to them.
he: No. In fantasy, it’s types… basic stories. It’s not personal like that. They’re just acting out the idea of… you know, female, of sexiness. They’re simply actors and actresses acting out general types. There’s nothing happening to them… as you put it.
me: ‘Nothing happening to them?’
he: No, not like you say. It’s all occurring within the.. frame of a script. Stupid and boring maybe… No one’s forcing them…
me: So, you’re an actor and the director signals you to perform a sex act, do you do the action as a general fantasy type, or is it you who does the act? Is it you who… is involved in prostitution–or rape?
he: Whoa. I wouldn’t be a porn actor. But for those who are, I’m sure they just follow a script just as all actors and actresses do. They don’t take it per…
me: Well… I think I give up.
he: You know, women watch porn too.
me: No, not in the way men do. Besides, it’s aimed at females too. It teaches submission. And how could it work if some females didn’t “voluntarily” participate? It’s not separate from life.
he: That’s a little too steep for me. You seem too serious about this. You talk as if porn is some form of propaganda–or a conspiracy.
me: Maybe a 18 billion dollar business can constitute…
he: That Dora you were going out with… was she some kind of feminist, or something?
me: What! Not as far as I know, no.
he: So, where do you get these ideas, this strain of thought? It seems moralistic.
me: –istic. Is that another dismissal? Anyway, I got them from reading, but the words only confirmed what I thought to be true–for a long time.
he: Do you still see Dora?
me: No. She moved back to Vermont.
he: I hope you didn’t chase her away with this porn talk.
me: Not likely.
he: Did you bring it up with her.
me: Not that I can recall.
he: So then why are you bugging me with this?
me: I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t.
he: It seems pretty impertinent.
me: No. It’s not in the least impertinent.
he: Why is it not?
me: Is violence impertinent? Are the victims of serial killers impertinent?
he: ‘Serial killers… man.’ I never mentioned this… porn subject to you. So why pick out me?
me: Maybe it crossed my mind today because you go to Bill’s parties, where porn gets shown. And isn’t violence everyone’s business?
he: Oh I get it. So, that’s why you pass up his invitations. So, you’re a porn boycotter. Very high minded of you.
me: There’s a comic there who uses the “n” word–and the “b word.” The party’s a male fest. I stay away from all of it.
he: The porn is soft, light, and often funny. And there’s lots of chii… wives and gals there. What’s the “b word?
he: That’s being uptight. I just ignore… they’re nothing but corny jokes. And everyone there is tolerant. We’re all adults. Parties are no place for politics and preaching. You just go with the flow. Really.
me: And the “n” word?
he: C’mon… maybe I heard Lenny say that twice.
me: So, that’s okay with you too, huh?
he: I didn’t say it was okay. I never use the word. What a killjoy… all this political correctness. Jeez, I feel like I’m being interrogated.
me: “Interrogated.” A bit over the top, isn’t it?
he: Do you ever quiz women over their views about porn.
me: I never asked you that. I merely said I was opposed to it.
he: Well, then, do you inform women that you’re against porn?
me: I very rarely get a chance to bring this up, but when I do, I welcome it, no matter the sex of the person.
he: Has anyone ever agreed with your position?
me: Earlier you said that everyone was against porn.
he: You used to be a fixture in the rock scene… you played with what’s that group … Xavier Renn’s band. You were hardly straight. You were hardly dull. No. Why the change?
me: Hmm. Are you saying that now I’m suspiciously square? Do you mean it’s un-hip to stand against something that pervades the internet, is violent, sadistic, and always… so damn degrading.
he: I’ll bet no one in that old crowd of yours would even come close to agreeing with you–or, this… mission of yours.
me: If I’m a rarity, then that just stresses the dimensions and depth of the problem. And it’s exactly why I shouldn’t back down. Seriously… tell me, do you think porn lowers the status of women–all women, not only those depicted?
he: If it were not fantasy, I would agree. But I believe it is. “Depiction.” You just said “depiction.” That’s my point. Look, can we just give this up, and agree to disagree.
me: I don’t know about that.
he: Are you gonna boycott me too?
me: Not in the way I do the party. You’re not an institution.
he: You’re too harsh. And more alone than you used to be, which is not a good sign that you’re on the right track.
me: Whose preaching now? And who’s doing the isolating? In any case, I have a moral compass. Do you?
he: Ah, that’s it. ‘Moral,’ that’s the problem… you’re better than all of us … You’re one of those self-appointed morality officers.
me: Your cynicism knows no bounds.
he: I’m not a cynic. I’m a… I’m a… red-blooded American male.
me: Boy, you said it.
he: Give it up already. Tend to your own sex life, if you have one.
me: If I do have one, you probably wouldn’t recognize it.
he: Ouch. A low blow. I think we’d better end this. You’re no longer music to my ears.
me: Ha. You mean you prefer my bass to my ‘shrill’ admonishments?
he: That’s enough already.
me: I give up.